Almost The Time- Broken Heart Poetry

It’s almost the time,

when I can’t stand anymore and wish to get out of your life,

I’m tired , deep down, and frustrated,

with all of your lies and misbehaves

I cry, well you don’t have to know..

I’m the hero of your life, exactly I’m not!

I give up, well you don’t have to understand

all that you’ve got, I’m the tough one

this just you don’t really know me!

I’m weak..

trapped into my valley and keep my pain in silence,

three years was full of sacrifice,

it’s enough for me to get off,

I’m give up…

as you expected..

you said I’m a great person..

well, you never saw my frightened  above my own shadow,

you thought I’m strong and ready to die for,

that you can’t read me when I was smile in fake

I pretend, indeed…

I was pretending and act so well…

I thought you will know since you claim understand me

but it’s false..,

false… false and false…

to be with you was my biggest mistake then!

and it’s almost the time

for me to give  it up and show my white flag,

end of my journey..

end of my fight…

end of my sacrifice…

end of my dedication…

my salvation bag is ready to go…

Photo Credit: Favim

I See The Picture, I Can’t Modify…

Today I received the scary fact,

at the first, I promised to not pass this early!

It’s a bit of complicated,

and I just  think I’m too young to settle!

it’s make me so scare then..

Next days, next months,

I can see the picture, I realize can’t modify it,

I can draw a piece of line, but I have no right to recolor

everything seems to be dark!

I had much worry!

I can’t see the light left in my room!

How could I regret if I don’t know where the north is

I’m full of confuse, but no one give me the choice

They said A, then turn me to A,

But the X said I must be the B, then turn me to B,

Y wish I can be D, and fake me to be D,

*Sigh..* Hhhhh…. it never what I want..

My aims are not what above, I just want to jump into the K!!

I’m mature enough to decide what I want

I’m smart enough to decide where to go

and I’m the first person who know what I really want to be..

if only they understand...

Photo Credit: mockeryoflove.wordpress.com

Can I be just Fine? -Dark Poetry

Can I be just fine?

when I open my eyes…

start my days with this sorrow,

I’m the trouble!

my life is a super trouble!

I hate this situation,

and wish skipping this step..

NOW!!

Can I be just fine??

when I know tomorrow is always been my bad day

People scold at me,

I live this scary alone

Spiritless…

Heartless…

Can I be just fine?

walk through this empty room,

and I know there’s no hope

and no more dream to chase

Can I be just fine?

when I open my eyes…

just realize I was sent to another stranger space,

there’s no live here!

I feel so much frightened…

this situation is getting worse and worse

Can I be just fine?

knowing no one care about me

knowing I’m weird and defect

and my life is all about sorrow and dark tunnel

I always pray to get my life over!

Oh God, I swear I wish this over !!

I have no hope left!

Can I be just fine?

there’s only the sadness in my face..

this line is look more real..

I can’t smile,

just tears flew in my check

Oh, Gosh!

I want to take a rest,

I want to sleep for now…

for tomorrow…

the next days…

for then…

next year..

and for forever…

and I know ..

it may the only way to make feel little better

*Photo Credit: ashadeofpen(dot)wordpress(dot)com

Say Everything Worst about Me!

Say everything worst about me!

I just thought this is my ending :

never find what I searched for,

never succeed for each thrown I did,

never achieve for each dream I wished,

never accept what I should deserved,

never reach what I've been giving up

Say everything worst about me,

then you able to give me such as labels :

I’m the most miserable girl ever!

I’m the most selfish person!

I’m the most unlucky!

I’m the worst dress in your party!

I’m number one in your most hate list!

and everyone laugh on my grieve!

Say everything worst about me!

so you can blame me for too much mistakes of mine :

left my great family for those fuck things,

escaped from home since I couldn't hold this pressure,

said thousand lies to make me feel alive,

pretend to be noisy to make me seems better in front of public,

stole your money to fulfill my lifestyle,

burnt your faith many times and lost no guilty,

wish to turn back time, but knowing it’s impossible

Say everything worst about me,

then you could laugh…

then you could smile,

then you could satisfied,

then you have too much reason could not explain…

to kick me out,

and forgot my fight!

Say everything worst about me,

then I can cry,

then I get frustrated

then I go mad

then I shout out!

then I’m getting tired

I’m getting suck!

then I complaint,

I’m getting stuck,

then… lost my voices!

just feel too much hurt

carry this burdened alone

with no one care..

and nobody understand

Say everything worst about me,

it’s not make sense anymore!

I could not remove my traces

I could not push my back to this stream

I lost my choices..

It’ s tearing me apart,

to stand with this fake smile..

Say everything worst about me,

say it!

just say it!

this passion is already done and gone!

*Photo Credit: bestprofilepicture(dot)blogspot(dot)com

I’m Afraid if I…..

I'm afraid if I..

couldn't walk so strong as I did before,

couldn't go anywhere as free as the bird,

I'm afraid if I..

lose my freedom, stop moving forward

I'm afraid if I…

stay with thousand tasks stressing my psychology,

I'm afraid losing my time to..

declare anything I want to

I'm afraid if I…

at the sudden could not figure it out,

losing my confidence to decide,

disappear my independence to alive,

must sacrifice more and more

I'm afraid if I…

living this worry for my entire life,

couldn't hear my boy raises his voices,

couldn't see people whom I were around when I open my eyes,

but they live in my memories forever

I'm afraid if I…

could not touch you in my second of time

have no shame to miss you…

but no word could explain how much I miss u,

in each my heart beat…

I wish I could come back…

everything seems  impossible!

and this future needs to be handle..

and I'm afraid if I…

lost my passion, just be another maid,

my principle is shaken!

start living in this scare,

I'm under control now!

and everyday is all about losing my mind

*Photo Credit: littlebeetle(dot)net

Totally Stranger

It been four years now,

work out like a looser and no one notice about me,

I’m invisible, never go ahead!

one said I'm the best, but they couldn't admit,

I'm just another stranger!

grade less, no friend, no reward…

Time run out..

new people came, the veterans gone,

I’m their witness, never go ahead!

My director never gimme the chance!

I feel like another stranger,

going to die as the loser,

go on and on..

as the loser...

I left behind for those who grow,

no one admit me, everyone ignore me…

I’m stuck!

and hurt..

I’m stuck!!

I’m stuck on my way!

I should quite!

new people came, the other veterans gone,

I feel like the deaf for those who won,

I have no achievement, too sad for those who laugh!

I’m stuck!

I’m stuck….

I’m stuck on my way!!

It’s getting hard to decide,

but I should quite!

I have nothing to proud here,

no one admit me, everyone ignore me..

I have nothing to chase,

I have nothing to neither pursue nor dream,

My director close the curtain..

I couldn't move but stuck!

Another new people won the seat,

what I did??

why I kept here?

they closed my curtain already !

I’m stuck!

and hurt..

and I’m fu*ck!

I'm fu*ck on my way!

*Photo Credit: nogreaterjoy(dot)org

Still Waiting for You

I’m sitting on my back door,

Right from the dawn until the end of every nights,

I’m waiting for you…

No answer, there is no hope!

Day by day, month by month…

Another years has left and gone,

I’m waiting for you till wake apart

I ignore everything..

Forget everyone…

Let me stand all alone!

I lost my enthusiasm,

I forgot how to live,

I forgot to know what I should do!

I’m afraid…

I’m too afraid..

You are the only one sink in my soul!

I keep waiting for you,

Even this heart start to tired,

And this pieces of hope start to spread away…

I just could not say this over,

I never thought find your substitute,

I wish you were here with me…

in this seconds and hours

I’m still waiting for you,

Keep waiting for you,

No matter how long I have to wait…

No matter I lost my hope and soul…

No matter what people talking about…

No matter I never know where are you now…

No matter I start losing my mind…

No matter I cry out loud for every second you left…

I’m waiting for you…

Keep our promise together..

Save our dream for a beautiful tale somehow

Where are you now, my little fairy?

Please don’t say anything..

Please don’t tell me you’ve already gone,

No bright star ever smile to me like you do!

I never moved away, I’m out of here…

Waiting for your presence

Touch me with more tears and laughter

Photo Credit: Photoworn